Behind the Polished Boots

Bullying, Silence, and the Cost of “Sucking It Up” in the Equine Industry

Most riders have experienced it at some point: the mean girls. The sideways glances, the whispered comments, the unmistakable feeling that someone, somewhere, is talking. In a sport where athletes quite literally pay to be judged, riders are expected to be made of steel. We polish our boots, braid our horses, smile at the in-gate, and step into arenas knowing that critique—spoken or silent—is part of the deal. Yet behind the diamonds of the #western ring, the elegance of #dressage, the fearlessness of #jumpers, #hunters, and #eventers, and the grit of #rodeo queens, riders are still human. The same heart that motivates a rider to mount every day—to push through fear, frustration, and failure—is just as vulnerable to the pain of rumors, assumptions, and speculation as a grade-schooler navigating a cafeteria full of social landmines. This raises an uncomfortable question: in a sport as individual and self-referential as horseback riding—where success is measured against your own progress, your own horse, your own time, your own score—why do riders so often turn on one another? And perhaps more importantly, how can professionals, adult amateurs, and young riders learn to cope with a culture that too often normalizes cruelty under the guise of toughness?

“This raises an uncomfortable question: in a sport as individual and self-referential as horseback riding—why do riders so often turn on one another?”

A Culture Built on Proximity and Pressure

Unlike many team and individual sports, the equine industry is deeply relational. Riders share #barns, trainers, grooms, warm-up rings, and long weekends away from home. The lines between professional and personal blur quickly. Competition schedules are grueling, financial investment is significant, and identity is frequently tied to performance. In this environment, comparison is constant, and vulnerability is high. Bullying in the equine world rarely looks like overt confrontation. Instead, it often manifests as gossip, exclusion, judgment disguised as concern, or “small talk” that quietly undermines confidence. It is a comment about someone’s horse that isn’t meant to be helpful. A raised eyebrow when a rider walks away from a trainer. A rumor passed along with a shrug and the justification that “everyone already knows.” These behaviors are easy to dismiss precisely because they are subtle. They do not always rise to the level of formal harassment, and as a result, they often go unaddressed.

Where SafeSport Helps—and Where It Doesn’t

The implementation of SafeSport has brought critical resources, education, and accountability to the equine industry. It has created mechanisms to address serious allegations of abuse, harassment, and misconduct, particularly those involving power imbalances and minors. This progress matters and should not be minimized. However, much of the bullying that riders experience falls outside the scope of formal reporting. Gossip, social exclusion, and reputation-based attacks are rarely actionable under #SafeSport guidelines, yet they can be deeply damaging over time. When these behaviors are dismissed as “barn drama” or “just how the sport is,” they persist unchecked. The result is a gap between policy and lived experience—a space where harm occurs quietly and repeatedly, without clear recourse.

Why “Suck It Up” Is Not a Sustainable Strategy

As athletes, riders hear the same refrains early and often: “Suck it up.” “Don’t let it get to you.” “If you can’t handle this, you can’t handle the sport.” While resilience is undeniably important, these messages often conflate emotional suppression with strength. The truth is that it does get to people. And over time, even the strongest walls wear down. The dread of seeing one particular person can be enough to ruin an entire horse show. Riders may begin to avoid barns, skip classes, second-guess their abilities, or leave the sport altogether—not because they lack talent or dedication, but because the emotional cost becomes too high. Normalizing emotional endurance without offering emotional support is not toughness; it is neglect.

Responsibility Across the Industry

Addressing bullying in the equine industry requires shared responsibility. Trainers play a critical role in setting barn culture. Parents influence how young riders interpret competition and conflict. Federations and governing bodies establish norms through education, enforcement, and visibility. Most importantly, adult riders—professionals and amateurs alike—must recognize the power of their words and behaviors. In a sport where younger riders constantly observe those above them, culture is taught as much through example as through rules. Compassion does not mean lowering standards or avoiding accountability. It means recognizing that excellence and empathy are not mutually exclusive. Riders can be competitive without being cruel. Trainers can be demanding without being demeaning. Barns can be high-performance environments without becoming hostile ones.

Toward a Healthier Future

The #equine industry prides itself on tradition, discipline, and grit. These values need not be abandoned—but they must be balanced with awareness and care. A sport that demands so much physically, emotionally, and financially should not also demand silence in the face of harm. Bullying thrives in environments where it is minimized, normalized, or excused. Change begins when the industry acknowledges that gossip and small acts of exclusion are not harmless, and that “sucking it up” is not a long-term solution. At its best, #horseback riding is a partnership—between horse and rider, trainer and student, competitor and community. Protecting that partnership requires more than skill in the saddle. It requires a commitment to treating one another with the same respect we expect to show our horses: patience, understanding, and care. At the end of the day, no ribbon is worth the cost of someone’s love for the sport.